


family

by PaigeOfSpace



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Gen, Jewish John Egbert, Post-Sburb, cake semantics, mentions of footloose, minor davejadekat with left terezi, rosemary wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 16:53:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9666659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaigeOfSpace/pseuds/PaigeOfSpace
Summary: trolls don't have marriage. they also don't have siblings.it follows that trolls don't have in-laws, either.





	

**Author's Note:**

> [throws jewish john hc at you and runs] CAN'T CATCH ME GOY THOUGHTS

John loosened his tie as he approached Rose and Kanaya’s table.

"Mazel tov, you guys!" he said, giving the newlyweds a hug. He placed a smooch on Rose's cheek, then sat beside Kanaya in the seat Karkat vacated when Jade had dragged him onto the dance floor.

“‘Mazel tov?’” Kanaya asked.

"It means ‘congratulations,’” Rose explained.

“Ah. Thank you, John,” Kanaya said with a smile.

“You’re welcome!”

“Brought cake,” Dave announced, handing plates to Rose and Kanaya before taking his seat beside Rose with his own slice.

“What, none for me?” John asked indignantly.

“Didn’t know you were sitting here.”

“I was under the belief that you hated cake, John,” Rose said.

“I’ve got no problem with _wedding_ cake, it’s birthday cake I can’t stand.”

“Dude, this is literally the same recipe Jane made for birthday week last year,” Dave laughed.

“It’s a matter of principle,” John retorted.

“That’s stupid,” Dave said, taking a bite. “Oh man, it’s _sooo goooood_ ,” he taunted through a mouthful of cake.

“Whatever, dick.” John rested his head in his hands. “Kanaya, I don’t know how you’re gonna put up with having this horse’s ass for a brother now.”

Kanaya abruptly stopped chuckling. “What do you mean by that?”

“You know, ‘cause he’s your in-law.”

Kanaya looked to Rose with confusion.

“Oh shit,” Dave said under his breath.

“I’m… gonna go now,” John said, leaving the table and the awkward situation he’d caused.

“Rose, what is an 'in-law?'”

“Well, it’s-” Rose began, but Dave cut her off.

“It’s this human thing where when you get married you get assimilated into your spouse’s family, so their parents are your parents and their siblings are your siblings, which is kinda fucked up when you think about it because it’s implying a spouse is equivalent to a sibling, though I guess a troll wouldn’t care about that anyway -”

“Dave?” Rose interrupted. “Stop talking.”

“Yup.”

Kanaya appeared even more bewildered than before. Rose took her hand.

“See, marriage was often viewed, not just as a union between two people, but a joining of two families. And because it was legally-recognized, your spouse’s family became yours too, not in blood, but _in law_.”

“I see,” Kanaya said tentatively. “So now that we’re married, Dave is my brother-in-law, and Roxy is my mother-in-law?” Rose nodded. Kanaya gave a small smile.

“And Dirk is your… Dirk-in-law,” Dave added with a hand wave.

“Yeah, sure,” Rose said with a smirk.

“Hey Dave!” A voice called out. Three heads turned to see Jade waving from the dance floor, gripping Karkat’s upper arm to prevent him from escaping to the side while her head was turned. “Come dance with us!”

“Yeah, alright, one sec,” Dave shouted back, unable to stop his wide grin. He stood up, turning to Rose and Kanaya. “See you later. Congrats again,” he told them, before joining Jade and Karkat. They bid him farewell and returned to their cake, Kanaya resting her head on Rose’s shoulder.

“I do wish you’d told me that marrying you meant marrying your whole family."

“Would it have been reason enough to call off our nuptials?” Rose asked playfully.

Kanaya pretended to think for a moment. “Almost,” she answered with a smile.

“Nothing is really going to change, anyway. ‘In-law’ is just a title, it's not as though you're now obligated to spend any more time with them than you already do.”

“I figured as much,” Kanaya said, “It’s just somewhat jarring to suddenly find myself a part of a human family.”

“I understand,” Rose replied, entwining her fingers with Kanaya's. She looked out at their friends enjoying the reception. Dave was teaching Karkat and Jade (now joined by Terezi) the moves to _Footloose_ ; John chatted with Jake while cutting himself a slice of _wedding_  cake; Roxy adjusted Calliope’s bowtie; and a giggling Jane spun and dipped Dirk, who overdramatically pretended to swoon. Rose smiled.

“But to be honest, you were already sort of in one."

"In one what?"

"In a family."

 

**Author's Note:**

> i want john to have been the one to suggest doing a chair lift. i want to BELIEVE  
> FTR "birthday week" is the week of december 1-7 when jade, jake, dave, dirk, rose and roxy all have their birthdays. they throw karkat, kanaya, terezi and calliope in there too to make a full seven days and basically its a wild time


End file.
